Gut Wrenching Alone

This Morning I woke up feeling , alone .

That kind of Gut Wrenching alone .

I know why I feel this way . But it still sucks to feel it .

Today my mum goes for her second full knee replacement. My stomach is in my mouth with nerves.  Its a horrible feeling knowing the ones you love are going to be in pain.

Its a good kind of pain , as once the recovery is over she will have a happier life!

I’m lucky my mum is my safety net. Always there if I need her , always there to listen , always there to guide my way 28 years on.

I have huge respect for those who does this journey of motherhood ,without the support of there own mothers, grandmothers or aunties.

The feeling of being alone on this journey is strong today.

I feel guilty because I know i’m not alone . I know I have a huge support system and i’m lucky .

Just some days it takes a little thing to throw you .



We will get there one day baby

We will get there one day baby . 

We will achieve our dreams .

All the hard work will pay off.


We will enjoy it more having worked so hard for it.

We will have taught our kids hard work pays off.

Right now ,  Today is hard,  Tomorrow might be hard too.


But baby one day the hard work will pay off .

We will achieve our dreams



So its been a long time .

So its been a long time since I last wrote anything down.


Master Oak is due to celebrate his second birthday very soon .


Miss Bella has just celebrated her 6th.

We’ve had the addition of Jarvis a crazy working cocker spaniel to our family.


Marcthebaker has started a new more family friendly job closer to home , which he loves .

We have found a Love for Bikes . Everyone that is expect for Miss Bella.

We spend most of ours days outside , as that’s where the boys love to be .

We also spend a lot of time in the Swimming pool as that’s where Miss Bella loves to be.

We have loved , lost and grown over the past 18 months.

Our plan for the next 18 months is to grow and love even more .



Clap , Clap , Clap !!

You can clap . It’s most defiantley you sister constantly showing you her school clap that has taught you .

You did clapped for the first time on the 14 th of February 2016. Aged 7 months .

You are very happy with yourself .

So is you sister , she loves to clap and watch you copy.

It makes her giggle.

it makes Mummy and Daddy smile :-).

You cut your first tooth yay!

It’s the 9th of February 2016.

You’ve cut your first tooth on the bottom left a day before you turn 7 months old .

You don’t teeth easy nor did your sister .

We found out it had finally broke though because daddy was illy and put his thumb in your mouth .

One down many more to go ….


The week you started sleeping longer

It started when we speant the night at Nana and Pops house.

You had a bath , then fell asleep as mummy was dressing you . You then went on to sleep from 6.45pm to 4am !!! Themost you had ever done was 5 hours before that.

Mummy isn’t sure if it’s a new thing your going to do. Or if its just because you’ve got a cough and your teething .

so far since we’ve been home . You slept 8-2am, 8-4am and last night 8-4.45am (after a bath).

Mummys to scared to think this might be a rountine . Your sister didn’t sleep though till 3 years old.

Keep up the good work baby boy xxximageimage